Accepting the Unexplainable

Then my friend said: "Wow, he's you're soulmate! But you know, people don't always end up with their soulmate." 

She changed everything. Because until then I could not accept an ending that did not come straight out of a fairy tale. 

And actually, come to think of it, it seems that people rarely end up with their soulmate. 

As if soulmates' purpose was not to share a life, but rather to follow their own separate paths, in sync with each other. And sometimes doing so having only physically met once or a handful of times. 

Most of the time it seems we end up with a life partner, not a soulmate. A partner who can hopefully help make dreams come true, provide support when needed and share happiness... but perhaps simply in a different way than a soulmate would. 

I have yet to understand the reason for this. 

But this realization is the only explanation for the disappointing reality of two separate paths; Of two people living harmoniously without really being together. 

Whiteswan Lake Provincial Park, BC, Canada

Eternal Internal Battle

Lysefjord - Norway

How can one satisfy opposing forces? 

How can one find balance with such a dilemma?

To be carefree 

To run wild

To be a restless dreamer

To stay far from society's standards 

To create the rules to live by 

To keep own happiness as the only concern

But

To help change the world 

To actively inspire others 

To be the influential business woman once dreamt of 

To assist with the blossom of small hopes in this lost society

But 

To look the other way 

To go my own separate way

But

To challenge set ways 

To find a way to make a change

A City as a Teacher

So I made it. I moved to northern Alberta and survived (of course). Even though I knew I would grow and come out of this city a little bit stronger a person, I had no idea to what extent. 

I pushed the limits of being alone and of being comfortable with solitude. And even though I wasn't exactly completely alone and into the wild, I was alone in a strange city and learned to do even more on my own... whilst being perfectly happy to do so. Possibly because I felt in control. I was doing my own thing and no one had a say in it. 

But most importantly, and most surprisingly, this city taught me things that I know will be essential for the future I want to build for myself. 

I thought this place was nothing more than an oil city where everyone had the same goal: making money and making it in any possible way. It turns out that even if working for "evil" companies that are harmful to the environment and that go against most of my values, people here can be the nicest and kindest I've seen in most big cities. Not only is there an unbelievable respect for pedestrians, people are not afraid to look strangers in the eye and genuinely greet others on the street. Although this openness does not quite make up for the general greed present in this city, it surely cannot be overseen. 

I shall not forget that even people who don't share my values may share the important quality that is kindness.

I thought that as long as I didn't work for a company harmful to the environment which is directly linked to the whole oil/gas controversy, I would have a job that agrees with who I am. It turns out that even a "regular" office job may not be what I need. If my work and the success of the company that I work for depend on the population's over-consumerism, I don't want to be a part of it. If my income depends on creating needs as opposed to fulfilling needs for consumers, I want to step away. If my day to day consists of encouraging others to sell and buy more and more, I cannot accept it. When I go home at the end of the day, I aim to reduce my personal needs, limit my material belongings and explore more of the priceless things this life, this world, has to offer. 

I shall not forget to apply and consider my own personal values into my choice of professional environment.

I thought I would always resent this city, stay for a short period of time and leave debt free, and nothing more. Instead, I truly appreciate and am thankful for my time here, am leaving still with some debt, but feeling richer than ever before. Edmonton has been a great teacher.

I shall remember that even the life chapters we suspect to be insignificant can be life changing.