Biggest Challenge

Deep Blue - Santorini, Greece

I take a deep breath. I've worked hard for this, for over 10 years actually. And it's still a burden now. Nowhere near as hard as it used to be, but still it would be too easy to fall back to what it was before, to what I used to be. It's all about never stopping, always pushing my limits. 

So I take a deep breath. Close my eyes for half a second and make it up the stairs, into the semi crowded room. Ready to be looked at, to be questioned, to be judged. Ready to face the unknown. Ready to defend my presence, my purpose there and in life.

Some times are harder than others and it takes longer to settle into a new comfort zone. In those times I do think about giving up. I wonder why I'm doing this to myself. Why I keep fighting for something that so clearly doesn't come easily to me. I consider hiding back in what I used to be. A shadow?

But soon enough, after I've pushed through the wall, it all becomes worth it. I remind myself that I can chose who and what I want to be. And I smile to myself... thinking of how far I've come.