Feeling for the men out there - Part I

I've complained a bit (a lot) about the dating scene over the last couple years... but no matter how many bad dates I have been on, how many boring conversations I have sat through, I strongly feel it is far better to be a single woman in the dating world, than it is to be a single man. 

Amsterdam Flower Market

So many women wonder where have gentlemen gone? Yet, we get offended if a man insists on paying for a meal or holds the door opened for us. (Because we all know that when a man is holding the door for a lady, he is thinking: "I know you're too weak to open your own door, here let me get it for you" right?) Men must be so confused. To be a gentleman, sometimes but all the time. To be spontaneous, but not too much. To be manly, but in touch with his inner self. To have style, but not pay too much attention to his looks. To be toned, but not spend too much time at the gym. Seriously, I am glad I don't have to deal with all these dilemmas. As a woman, I get to say what I want, do what I want, wear what I want and well men have to be fine with it, otherwise... well otherwise they are quickly categorized as sexist... 

But we're sending all kinds of mixed signals to the poor men trying to please us. We find it weird if a man walks around to open the car door for us, yet we think it's the sweetest thing when we witness it in a movie scene. We think it's silly if a guy consciously walks on the street side of a sidewalk but we make a mental note if he doesn't. 

So I just want to say, to all of you lost and beautiful men out there, I understand how misunderstood you feel. I too hope that one day we can all simply be who we want to be, do what we wish to do, without playing games, without being judged. No rules, no code. Go ahead and pay for that coffee if you want, and if don't want to well don't! If she shares the same views, then you know she's worth your time. If she doesn't, you will find one who does.

And I, I shall continue to express my gratitude when a door is opened for me, recognizing it as an act of kindness, not of superiority. And if you don't hold the door opened, I shall not be offended, I just won't date you. 

*I can only speak for my own personal experience and would not dare generalizing this matter to everyone, every culture, every dating scene.