I plan not to have a plan

A few months ago I was ready for a big move. I just wanted to go. But you can't just tell people you're leaving, for no reason, with no specific goal... They get confused, they don't understand, they question your decisions, your life choices, your motives... 

So I came up with a plan. It seemed so simple. Just a couple of easy steps and a new goal that I wanted to reach. That's what people do, they make plans and follow them. So it now made sense for me to leave. It didn't seem like I was "just going".  Once I had it all figured out, I set off and followed the first step of my big plan. Friends and family understood and wished me well. 

To me, it made complete sense to just leave, with a vague distant goal in mind and just a few belongings. But seeking approval, I made a plan and justified my big move. 

Of course, life threw a couple of its many surprises on my path and quickly, the big plan was ruined. So what's the point? Why don't people understand and agree that it's OK to just float on, not take things too seriously and enjoy the ride? Not worrying about the worst that could happen... 

Well, let it be proof that plans are pointless. And let me float on, hoping for the best!

Getting lost and finding its way back is half the fun!

To Wish Upon a Star

It is impossible to get what we want unless we actually know what it is that we want.

And to know what we want is not only about knowing what we do not want. 

To wish upon a star

To want something. Someone.

Truly. Passionately.

A home. A job. A partner.

To build a mental list. 

A written list.

The criteria to be met. 

The qualities that are essential.

It can be detailed, extensive.

As long as it's honest. 

People may judge.

People will judge.

They'll say it's unrealistic. 

And they will be right. 

Only if you let them be.

Here is to not settling for the "good enough" stuff. 

To being patient while discovering what we truly desire. 

And to simply believing.

Alone is Alone is not Lonely

Lévis, QC, Canada

To be alone. In an unknown city. Full of strangers. Not one familiar face. 

A new job. Unfamiliar tasks. So many unanswered questions.

Where will it lead me?

To come home alone. To an empty house. With so few personal  belongings, and yet everything I need.

To spend hours on end not speaking. Sharing silence with an old house's sounds.

To wake up with no plan. No meet-up with a friend, no date, no obligation. But so few opportunities, so little options. 

This is being alone. To successfully picture one's self on a map, surrounded by miles of emptiness. Far from anything familiar.

To stop. Reflect. Breathe with the old house. Contemplate my vast surroundings. Question my purpose here once more. And wonder about the choices I have made. 

Then shrug. Laugh out loud. And assume I must be crazy for taking things so lightly.