A year in a Life

Sunset - Jervis Bay, NSW, Australia

A year can go by so fast, but yet so slow. So little can have time to change, but sometimes it seems everything changes. I gathered a few stories I had written throughout the year but had never shared. Put together, it illustrates how things can change in only a few months...

From January to May - every thought was published as if nothing could be held back
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May 8 2011 - Back in Time
To go back in time
To go back naively
Not knowing what there's to come
Not believing that you could truly hurt me

Just to live those carefree moments again
Just to relive my happiness with you

To go back in time
As it is no longer possible
And never will be again

Maybe then I could accept this more easily?
Or maybe I could freeze time...
And never come back to this reality?

Only a month later - June 7 2011 - I could already add to my story:
Funny how today the last thing I want is to be stuck in the past!

Stuck in the Past - Athens, Greece

June 26 2011 - Part II (to Une Constatation) 

It's the feeling of achievement

Not so long ago I believed I could "turn my life around", make things better, just be happy. I just didn't know, didn't understand how it could be possible. I just had faith in what seemed to be the impossible.

And then it happened. It all fell into place. And I was happy again. And just thinking of how I succeeded  in getting here, it makes me even happier!

July 9 2011 - Untitled

I woke up and didn't know what I wanted anymore, about anything... about the present, the future, love, life, my career, my hopes... nothing.

It stayed like that, and then I realised what it meant: I don't know who I am anymore.

After years of building "me", of working towards an idea of who I thought I was: Nothing.

Sometimes you have have to put everything back into perspective and figure it out, all over again.

July 29 2011 - Untitled

Sometimes, I still get very sad. It's an overwhelming feeling. 

Sometimes it comes out of nowhere, takes me by surprise. But still, I don't shed a tear. I am no longer able to cry for you. I have tried, as it would often make me feel better when I was sad. But it's no use, I have no more tear to waste on you - at all.

Lonely in a group - BC, Canada

July 31 - Untitled

Once in a while, I wish I could see myself the way others see me. On one hand, so that it'd help me become a better person, but above all, so that I could stop being so hard on myself. To understand what some see in me. And to, hopefully, believe that I deserve to be looked at the way a few special people look at me...

To be continued